Tips for a Gracious Bride

We've all heard of Bridezillas, but really is that how you want to be remembered? It may get you on TV, but it won't score you any points...with anyone! You may be wearing white today...but that is not forever. Grace and courtesy is always becoming. Here are a few tips for being a gracious bride...it looks good on everyone!

1. Just because others do not know proper etiquette, doesn’t mean you should ignore it.
2. Be humble. You may be a bride now, but soon you will re-enter life as a mere mortal.
3. Respect tradition, but give it your own personal spin.
4. Mind your manners. “Please” and “Thank you” will take you a long way.
5. These people are your friends and family – they do not work for you, but are here to help you…because they love you.
6. Don’t assume anything - ask questions and get the details in writing.
7. These people are your GUESTS! Don’t keep them waiting and don’t ask them to pay for anything.
8. Treat your vendors kindly, and they will do the same for you.
9. Thank you notes are a must. It is never wrong to express your thanks to your parents, your guests, and your vendors.
10. If it doesn’t feel right don’t do it. When in doubt trust yourself. 

Need more info...this is from The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book (Adams Media) written by me!
 

Have anything to add?

Love, love, love to hear your thoughts!

Happy Planning!

Who Needs An Etiquette Book????!!!!!GIVEAWAY CLOSED!!!!

See that book right there?

I wrote it.

Want to win one?

!!!!!GIVEAWAY CLOSED!!!!

The basic principle of etiquette can be summed up simply as the idea of not offending, embarrassing, or upsetting others. While many questions of etiquette are simply a matter of common sense, other situations can be dealt with through consideration, communication, and a little kindness.

Marrying the complexities of wedding planning with the graciousness of etiquette is where The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: From invites to thank you notes  - All you need to handle even the stickiest  situations with ease (Everything Series) comes in. This book will tell you how to solve contemporary etiquette dilemmas through practical advice while answering some of the most commonly asked wedding etiquette questions. Most importantly, this book recognizes that the world is an ever-changing place and that there are no hard and fast rules of etiquette anymore—what’s right for one bride may not be right for another. Many questions, especially those dealing with today’s complicated family dynamics, have no single correct answer; solutions to these types of dilemmas
depend upon the particulars of each situation.

So...You want to win one? Here's how!
If you just cannot wait...
you can click on that Amazon Affiliate link and buy one!

Just wait, in my next post,
I will be getting sassy about reality wedding show asap!

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REQUIRED ENTRY:

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**Leave comment letting me know you are a public follower of Hip Weddings via Google Friend connect - This is the first and required entry.  IF YOUR EMAIL IS NOT PART OF YOUR PROFILE...YOU MUST LEAVE A VALID EMAIL IN THE COMMENT...OR GO ADD YOUR EMAIL TO YOUR PROFILE. (1 ENTRY)

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deadline to enter is 11:59 pm EST on June 30, 2010. Include a valid email address in your comments or in profile to be contacted.  The winner will be chosen using randomly, posted on this site and notified via email; Winner will have 48 hours to acknowledge win or another random winner will be chosen. Open to residents of U.S. and Canada.  

FTC Disclosure: This book is being provided by me and will be shipped by me at my expense. The Amazon links in the above post are affiliate links.
!!!!!GIVEAWAY CLOSED!!!! 

A Gracious Bride Knows....

We've all heard of Bridezillas, but really is that how you want to be remembered? It may get you on TV, but it won't score you any points...with anyone! You may be wearing white today...but that is not forever. Grace and courtesy is always becoming. Here are a few tips for being a gracious bride...it looks good on everyone!

1. Just because others do not know proper etiquette, doesn’t mean you should ignore it.
2. Be humble. You may be a bride now, but soon you will re-enter life as a mere mortal.
3. Respect tradition, but give it your own personal spin.
4. Mind your manners. “Please” and “Thank you” will take you a long way.
5. These people are your friends and family – they do not work for you, but are here to help you…because they love you.
6. Don’t assume anything - ask questions and get the details in writing.
7. These people are your GUESTS! Don’t keep them waiting and don’t ask them to pay for anything.
8. Treat your vendors kindly, and they will do the same for you.
9. Thank you notes are a must. It is never wrong to express your thanks to your parents, your guests, and your vendors.
10. If it doesn’t feel right don’t do it. When in doubt trust yourself. 
 

Have anything to add?

Love, love, love to hear your thoughts!

Happy Planning!

WINNER! And A Little About Save the Dates!

And the winner is.....

Nancy

{as selected out of the hat by hubby}

Just shoot me an email with your address {please don't post it in the comments}. Also, let me know if you want it signed or not {you wont hurt my feelings} and how you want it signed just the signature to "to" someone.


A BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO ENTERED!
I really, really wish I had enough books to send you each one!
You can get one on Amazon or your local bookstore.
The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: From invites to thank you notes  - All you need to handle even the stickiest  situations with ease (Everything Series)!
____________________________________________________________

Remember, I asked you to leave a question {if you wanted}.

I love questions and be able to help you all out!

Ginger asked this little number about Save the Dates:

Q: We our having our wedding where we live which is across the country from where we grew up. We know most of the people that we are inviting will not come. Do we have to send save-the-date cards to those that we know will not come and we are just inviting because our parents want us to?

A: The answer to your question is YES, you do have to send save the dates to everyone invited...even if they live across the country and are your parents friends. Just make sure they are on the list definite guest list (or they will be once you send them the save the date). It just alleviates any potentially odd interactions ..."Oh, you got a save the date and we didn't...guess we were on the B-list until someone declined."

The Scoop on Save the Dates! 
Save-the-Dates can be simple or totally elaborate. What is most important is that the cards let the guest know a wedding is being planned for a particular date. These cards have become immensely popular, as they give family and friends living and working throughout the country and the world, a little “heads up” that an important event is coming. Just remember that a Save-the-Date is not considered to be an invitation to anything, it is merely a precursor to the invitation, giving the guests time to make travel arrangements.

When to Send
The Save-the-Date card should be sent at least six months before the wedding date. If you are planning a destination wedding, live in a resort town, are planning a wedding during peak travel times, or know many of your guests plan their travels twelve months out, sending them earlier is always acceptable.

Wording the Save-the-Date
The basic wording is simple and includes the bride’s and groom’s name, sometimes the host’s name, date of the wedding and geographic location of the wedding. Some couples have more elaborate wording or include quotes, photos, or other special notes. The tone and the wording can be changed to reflect your style or theme. Think of a save the date as a movie trailer...a teaser for things to come.You may also include travel, tourist, and accommodation information, as well as your wedding web site. Here's a sample!

Save the Date
for the marriage of
Janet Christine Miller
and
Jackson Arthur Smith
July 11, 2012
Los Angeles, California
Formal invitation to follow 

HAPPY PLANNING!
Holly

Win The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book!!!!! ********GIVEAWAY CLOSED********

********GIVEAWAY CLOSED********
The basic principle of etiquette can be summed up simply as the idea of not offending, embarrassing, or upsetting others. While many questions of etiquette are simply a matter of common sense, other situations can be dealt with through consideration, communication, and a little kindness.

Marrying the complexities of wedding planning with the graciousness of etiquette is where The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: From invites to thank you notes  - All you need to handle even the stickiest  situations with ease (Everything Series) comes in. This book will tell you how to solve contemporary etiquette dilemmas through practical advice while answering some of the most commonly asked wedding etiquette questions. Most importantly, this book recognizes that the world is an ever-changing place and that there are no hard and fast rules of etiquette anymore—what’s right for one bride may not be right for another. Many questions, especially those dealing with today’s complicated family dynamics, have no single correct answer; solutions to these types of dilemmas

depend upon the particulars of each situation.

So...You want to win one? Here's how!

********GIVEAWAY CLOSED********

TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY

REQUIRED ENTRY:
LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT FOR EACH ENTRY! 
**IF YOU ALREADY HAVE DONE ANYONE OF THESE, JUST LEAVE A COMMENT LETTING ME KNOW!** 

*Leave comment letting me know you are a public follower of Hip Weddings via Google Friend connect - This is the first and required entry.  IF YOUR EMAIL IS NOT PART OF YOUR PROFILE...YOU MUST LEAVE A VALID EMAIL IN THE COMMENT...OR GO ADD YOUR EMAIL TO YOUR PROFILE. (1 ENTRY)

*Leave a comment about weddings in general OR ask a question (to be answered in a post later).(1 ENTRY)

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deadline to enter is 11:59 pm PST on March 3, 2010. Include a valid email address in your comments or in profile to be contacted.  The winner will be chosen using randomly, posted on this site and notified via email; Winner will have 48 hours to acknowledge win or another random winner will be chosen. Open to residents of U.S. and Canada.  

********GIVEAWAY CLOSED******** 

Want To Be A Winner!

There is a giveaway going on over at Midday Escapades!

You can win an autographed copy of my latest book...

The basic principle of etiquette can be summed up simply as the idea of not offending, embarrassing, or upsetting others. While many questions of etiquette are simply a matter of common sense, other situations can be dealt with through consideration, communication, and a little kindness.

Marrying the complexities of wedding planning with the graciousness of etiquette is where The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: From invites to thank you notes  - All you need to handle even the stickiest  situations with ease (Everything Series) comes in. This book will tell you how to solve contemporary etiquette dilemmas through practical advice while answering some of the most commonly asked wedding etiquette questions. Most importantly, this book recognizes that the world is an ever-changing place and that there are no hard and fast rules of etiquette anymore—what’s right for one bride may not be right for another. Many questions, especially those dealing with today’s complicated family dynamics, have no single correct answer; solutions to these types of dilemmas

depend upon the particulars of each situation.

So...You want to win one? Here's how!

TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY:

ALL ENTRIES MUST BE DONE AT MIDDAY ESCAPADES...

SO GO PAY LYNN A VISIT!

But...don't forget to complete the first two extra entries here by following hip weddings publicly via Google Friend Connect and on Twitter !

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What's a Mother To Do?

Some envision the Mother of the Bride as a crazy woman intent on making every detail perfect for herself...not necessarily her daughter. Others see the Mother of the Bride as a joyous exuberant woman reveling in a day that is special for her too. And, of course there are a number of categories that fall between those that I mention. I recently had an email from a Mother of the Bride, so I thought I would jump into this subject.

Did you know the MOB is technically a member of the wedding party?
Here is a list of her official duties from the The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: From invites to thank you notes  - All you need to handle even the stickiest  situations with ease (Everything Series).

• Assists the bride in selecting her gown, accessories, and trousseau
  
• Helps the bride select bridesmaid’s attire 
• Coordinates her attire with the mother of the groom
• Works with bride, groom, and groom’s family to devise a seating plan
• Helps address invitations
• Helps attendants with coordinating the bridal shower
• Generally assists the bride
• Occupies a place of honor at the ceremony
• Stands at the beginning of the receiving line
• In most instances, acts as hostess of the reception
• Occupies a seat of honor at the parent’s table

Of course, not all of the above duties will apply or be acceptable or even possible for all MOB's. As a wedding planner, I have seen brides and their mothers disagree in what is some times a power struggle. In those instances, it has been helpful to ask the MOB to assist with certain planning tasks that she can "run with"...within reason of course. Just be sure everyone is on the same page in terms of style, budget, etc. Ultimately, the MOB can be involved in every aspect of planning...if that is what the bride and her mother agree upon. Some specific duties the MOB can also assist with include:

• Favor selection
• Invitations selection
• Plan the bridesmaids tea/luncheon
• Research attendant gifts
• Research other paperie...wedding programs, menu cards, escort cards
• Help select wedding day accessories...ring pillow, candles, guest book.

When I was planning a wedding a few years back, the MOB lived across the country and had a lot of hostility towards the bride, the groom, and me. As it turns out all she really wanted was to feel needed and involved. The bride had no real opinions about her invitation, other than some wording, so we told MOB the colors of the wedding, and let her "go to town." She was happy...almost obsessed, and the bride was happy too.

What's the Mother of the Bride to wear?
This can be the million dollar question. Seriously I have seen MOB's show up in gowns more revealing and more dramatic than the brides....um,"not appropriate!" However, the styles of dress for a MOB are far reaching and very stylish...gone are the days of ruffly chiffon dresses, sensible shoes, and floppy hats (unless of course that's her thing!)...MOB style has evolved as weddings have. Just a few points a MOB should consider when it comes to attire:

• The color should compliment the bridesmaids dresses and the colors of the wedding but need not be the same color.
  
• Her dress should not upstage or outshine the bride's dress...no fire engine red for the Spring wedding, no inappropriate cleavage, etc...Get the picture?
  
• Her dress should not be white...unless approved by the bride or called for, i.e. a "white wedding" theme.
• Her dress does not need to match the Mother of the Groom's (MOG) dress. They should compliment each other in formality, but the colors do not need to match, nor must the styles be the same. The MOB should shop for her attire first and the MOG should follow the lead as far as formality is concerned.
• She should always discuss her options with the daughter is there is any question in her mind. In fact, make it a fun "girls day" of shopping.

Finally, the MOB should not feel like she needs to shop in formalwear shops or bridal boutiques only. Department Stores and other women's retailers often carry a beautiful selection of clothing that is perfectly suited for MOB attire. The options are limitless. I tell my MOB's to go shop at their favorite specialty store first (provided they carry more formal attire) and then go from there..."remain true to your style and the right dress will be there and you too will feel confident and be radiant on the wedding day."

HIP TIP: As a wedding planner you do not know how many times I have heard Mom's (OK, all female guests, other than maybe Grandma) complain about corsages. No one wants the heavy flowers pulling on their expensive dress or making a water stain on delicate fabric. Consider a small bouquet for the mothers, a single flower, or even no flowers at all (it isn't a rule you know).

What everyone involved in planning a wedding must remember is that this is not only a right of passage for a couple, but it is also a rite of passage for the families. There are many emotions involved and all it takes is a little consideration on everyone's part to make the planning go smoothly.

Happy Planning!
Holly