Bride Advisory: This is not a pretty story. It is a tale of mistakes and mishaps. It is a story of a girl who thought she knew what she was doing because she had been a bridesmaid so many times...Ha, Ha, Ha! There were, however no casualties...but we (and we means pretty much everyone at the wedding) almost locked the caterer in the closet.
For my wedding story, I am actually going to skip "the good" and head straight to "the bad and the ugly" in hopes of saving today's brides-and-grooms-to-be some headaches. I must say, however, there were many "rights" about my wedding - the flowers, the amazing officiant, the venue, the fun we had planning, our wedding party! So, don't view this as negative...I have no regrets. It is what it is - I made the decisions...I own and take responsibility for them! (Brides, are your hearing this?...You cannot change what is done, accept it and remember the good things!). In the end, I have been married for 12 years and wouldn't change a thing (sort of).
OK...here it goes...
I was married 12 years ago, at a beautiful private home in the Hollywood Hills. I fell in love with it right away...after looking at probably 40 other places, including a thinly-disguised Mexican restaurant and a fake (I won't even give it the dignity of using "faux") New Orleans Mansion- UGH! I had an average budget and my fiance and I paid for most of the wedding ourselves. The location required I bring in a caterer, valet parking, and all of our own rentals - even trash cans - on top of the usual wedding stuff. We invited 170 people, and 150 attended....we were hoping less would actually come...NOTE: don't over invite! And now for the biggest mistakes...
Mistake #1: We came "this close" to hiring a wedding planner. She had planned weddings for 2 of my good friends and those weddings were fantastic. We opted to not use her because she was questioning us about how we thought our budget was going to stretch "that far." She suggested a lunch or hors d'oeuvres. "Ha! No way!" we said "We must have dinner."She was right...we settled for a so-so caterer so that we could have a dinner. The food was actually good, but the staff...can you say "crappy" really loud! See above note about locking the catering manager in the closet. If we would have followed her suggestions, the wedding would have been just as beautiful, even if it wasn't dinner.
Mistake #2: I hired a "celebrity" photographer - whatever that means! If I was a celebrity I may have gotten what I as expecting, but alas I am not, so not much good to say about him...so he will remain nameless. I was sucked in and thought he was cool (WRONG!). If someone is name-dropping, don't fall for it...it means nothing except that he is name-dropping. I seriously was a stupid bride. I have tons of "so-so" photos (the ones here are the pick of the litter) and no album (12 years later!)...part of that it my fault.
Mistake #3: As mentioned in Mistake #1, we did not have a wedding planner. For the most part, I think all brides should use a wedding planner for at least for "day of" management. This is even more important for any bride getting married at an offsite venue There are some caterers and location managers at these types of sites who will really assist you, but you cannot count on it unless it is part of the rental/service agreement...and even then they are not your personal wedding planner! There is so much to manage, so many logistics, really, just stuff you would never think about (did anyone bring toilet paper and soap for the restrooms?).
Mistake #4: Did I mention the crappy caterer yet?
Mistake #5: The cake...oh the leaning not-what-I-ordered cake....it was only missing all the gold painting (this was the 90's!) and decor I paid extra for....I was so done, I never asked for my money back. My husband convinced me to call it a day and forget about it...sounds like I did, eh?
That's it for mistakes, but you know you are in for it when there is a serious heat wave, and two days before the wedding you have a 103 degree fever and are bed-ridden. I did manage to get out of bed to visit the crappy caterer and call the venue to ask a question...and when I called the venue, I got an answering service, and they told me the house had burned down and no one would be in until Monday! I just about died! This is the only instance when the caterer was actually helpful...after about 2 hours (of sheer panic) we discovered it was another property managed by the same people and my venue was still standing...whew! By the way, wedding insurance was a relatively "new thing" in 1997, but we did purchase it.
So, in a nutshell, that is my wedding story. This did prove to me that I have the best friends ever - they did their best to "hide" the small stuff from me, carry out my complicated plans, keep the caterer out of my face, and to help me find my DayQuill. I {heart} them!
As for my anniversary...I have a great husband, and that is what it is all about. Even if he did not bring me silk, pearls, or colored gems to celebrate.
If you have a story you would like to share, leave a comment and let's chat about you sharing your story on an upcoming Sunday. Enjoy!
Happy Planning!
UPDATE: I want (would LOVE to have) positive stories too...this is not just about horror stories or mistakes...I am happy to include beautiful photos and stories, as well as sound advice for brides...like "What was the best thing you did during your wedding planning to make your day a success?" Or show us your favorite stylish detail. Also, Nor do the stories have to be this long. I just know brides love to get a peek (however big or small) at other brides weddings!
