Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Engagement Season is Here!

Did you know the holidays are one of the most - if not the most - popular times for getting engaged? What a perfect gift to give and to receive...an engagement ring!...But this post is not about the engagement ring, it is about the actual act of getting engaged. When he pops the question, what do you do first? Scream, yell, cry, call your mom, call your best friend? After you do that what do you do...post it on your blog, send an email...what is a girl to do?

Here is the scoop on engagement etiquette!

Do you need to a ring to be officially engaged?
A ring or a date is not necessary for your engagement to be considered official. This is quite simply a matter of him proposing. If he asks, and you accept, you are officially engaged. However….most people (i.e. your parents) will take it more seriously if there is some sort of ring involved (Just being honest here!)

Does my fiancĂ© need to ask permission for my hand in marriage? 

For the most part, this custom is no longer applicable, but some men do still choose to follow with tradition. Ultimately you and he should really think about what your parents would prefer…it can simply be a sign of respect.

Does the ring have to have a diamond? 

Nope…anything will do, even a simple gold band. Don’t get caught up in what it is supposed to be, but rather what it means.

Does the ring really need to equal two months salary? 
First, see above question. Next, an engagement ring should not cost more than you and your future spouse can afford to spend. The price of the ring should be proportional to the size of your income.

How do we decide which set of parents to tell first? 
Traditionally the bride-to-be’s family is told first. The groom’s family is told next. Once this is done, the groom’s family contacts your parents. If your parents are divorced, his parents should call the parent who raised you, and then call the other parent later if the two of you are still close. As a side note, if one of you has children, tell them right away. You have no obligation to tell an ex-spouse right away…unless there are children involved.

My parents are divorced. Whom should I tell first?
If you still live with a parent, they should be the first to know. Otherwise, whichever parent raised you or you are the closest to should be told first. However (there is almost always a “however”) if say your parents are divorced and your Dad loves your fiancĂ©, but your mom, who raised you, doesn’t…all bets are off…I’d tell Dad first!

So, that said....do you have a good engagement story?
Who did you tell first and how did you tell them?

My hubby proposed on Christmas morning. I called all my closest friends and my husbands family first (he called them) because we were going to see my parents later in the day...they didn't expect it...I didn't expect it...and we wanted to see the looks on their faces.

So what happened...we walked in wished everyone a Merry Christmas, gave hugs, kisses, helped in the kitchen....nothing. My brother walks in looks at me, and says "Dude, there is a ring on your finger!"  My mom was speechless...in a good way!

Want to know more about etiquette....Buy the book!


carolineAlexander said...

Great answers. Things have changed so much in the wedding department.


Jenny said...

Hi Holly. OK hopefully today we are getting to Borders. My husband got the flu from our Granddaughters. But I'm really anxious to look for your book. I love the ideas on your blog, even though I'm already married. And I appreciate you following my blog this year, too! Thank you! Happy New Year!

Jenny said...

I wasn't really into my engagement ring. I'm still not so I don't wear it. But his proposal was nice. It made me cry xD

Have a great new year.

Kitty Moore said...

Just stopped by to wish you a happy new year!

Kitty x

Dragonfly said...

Hi Holly,
Wishing you a very happy and healthy 2010! Cheers, Karen

Anonymous said...

This is a great write up! Very useful to newly engaged gals. (I wish I had something like this to read when I got engaged last year!)

Just stopping through from SITS and I'll be sticking around! (Our wedding is next month!)

Rhiannon Banda-Scott said...

What a great post for newly engaged gals!!! :) And what a great blog!! Def a new follower!

Kat said...

Hi Holly

Thanks for visiting my blog. I hope you'll come again. I've sure enjoyed my visit here. Our daughter is getting married in May so I love all things wedding. I'll be back.

Hugs from the beach!

Cita Online said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog, Holly! My wedding's coming up fast, and I'm enjoying reading through the ideas and photos on your blog. You've officially been added to my Google Reader :-)

robinsgothealth said...

Wow, I did it so half right..lol!

Thanks for sharing Holly, brings back so many wonderful memories!

Yours in Health, Robin

Risley said...

awww! cute story!

CrimsonFlames said...

thanks for the sound advice and sweet story!

so what about stuff like going down on a knee? is there anything you expect him to do to make it perfect?

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