What to Wear!?

What's Your Question?

Have a question...a dilemma...just plain confused

about a wedding related matter?

Look no further...this is the Q and A place.

Question...

My hubby and I are going to an indoor, evening wedding with a cocktail party reception. I was thinking of wearing my version of the "little black dress" with a lavender wrap and some sort of metallic-colored heel/sandal. Is this acceptable? You must always get the "is-black-okay-at-weddings" question...

Answer...

For modern weddings, at a soiree such as you describe, black is totally acceptable. Accenting it with fabulous accessories, especially with a colored wrap and cute shoes is stylish and sophisticated and totally appropriate.

Drop me a line via email or leave your question in the comment box (be sure there is an email hooked up to your blogger account...I cannot help you out asap if you are a no-reply at blogger person)

Happy Planning!

Holly

What's Your Question Wednesday?

I just love answering questions about weddings.
So, to honor this little hobby of mine
and in anticipation of my book,

The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book: From invites to thank you notes - All you need to handle even the stickiest situations with ease (Everything Series)

releasing very soon, I am making Wednesday's

"What's Your Question Wednesday?"

The Question

My daughter and all of her bridesmaids live in Seattle. I'm in Denver, as are most of her childhood friends and all our extended family. I know that traditionally family members should not throw a shower for the couple. In this situation, would it be terrible to break that rule or should I have a couple of my friends put their names on the invite? The shower will have to be held at my house because of the size of the shower? Advice???

The Answer

When I give advice, I always like to reference the traditional etiquette for each case just so we all know where we I am coming from. That said, times have changed, people have changed, and every circumstance is totally unique, so, in my opinion, there is no one right or wrong answer for most questions (I say most, because, I do have a few points I am a stickler with).


Traditional etiquette dictates that the bride's (or groom's) mother or grandmother should not host a shower; that responsibility should be left to more distant relatives, like a cousin or aunt, or to the maid of honor, bridesmaids, and other friends. The logic behind this rule is that the bride and groom’s families shouldn’t appear to be asking for gifts. 

Now for the reality of the situation...

1. You have to do what is right for you and your family. I seriously doubt anyone (unless you are inviting some super-strict etiquette experts) is going to give a second thought to a family member hosting the shower. Especially in your case, it is simply a logistical necessity. 
2. It is perfectly fine to hold the shower at your home regardless of who is hosting (i.e., if some others step in to assist).
3. Are the bridesmaids hosting a shower as well? Or is this the only shower? If this is the only shower, consider including the Maid of Honor's name on the invitation.
4. If it makes you feel more comfortable and a few of the childhood friends or extended family members wouldn't mind, include their names on the invitation along with yours. 

So, what does this mean?...The etiquette police will not come knocking on your door. This should not be something you worry about. Etiquette rules should be taken into account, but only to the point where as they are feasible. Guests know what to expect at a bridal shower - they know it is about showering the bride with gifts, and no one should hold it against a mother for having her daughters shower at her home or for hosting it.

Happy Planning!

Holly

Mythical Mondays

It's that time again...Mythical Mondays! But before I go any further, just a couple of quick notes...

First, be on the lookout for a book giveaway...yes, The Everything Wedding Etiquette Book is coming out very soon, and I will be giving away a copy (or maybe two)!

Secondly, I am accepting questions about etiquette and general planning...feel free to email me or post it in the comments, just be sure to leave me an email or check back often so you can catch the answer. I will be posting Q and A on Wednesdays.

So with no further adieu...

MYTH: Buffet meals are less expensive than plated meals.

TRUTH: I am sure you've heard it...to save cash have a buffet at your reception. While this may have been true at one time, it is not always the case anymore. It really depends on the location, caterer, and the type of meal service you decide on.

In general, unless you are taking about throwing out a 6-foot long sandwich and calling it a day, buffet meals require just as much time and attention as plated meals. While the caterer may need additional servers for a plated meal, for the buffet the caterer must make more food, as some of the guests may visit the buffet line one, two, or three times before being satisfied. Secondly, there must also be enough china and flatware on hand for these repeat visitors - a guest should never revisit the line with a "dirty" plate. And, finally, if you are responsible for rental items, you will need to rent tables and linens for the buffet, as well as possibly arranging for some decor. 

Also, don't make the mistake of thinking food stations are the same as a buffet either. Stations are typically more costly and elaborate than buffets. They typically require a chef at each station and specialty items as well.

What does this mean? In your search for the perfect venue and caterer ask the questions and get all your facts in order before just assuming a buffet will cost less. There is much more to making this decision as well, look for more details in the coming weeks.

Happy Planning!

Holly

Mythical Mondays

Another Monday...and back to the myths of wedding planning...

MYTH: You can cut floral costs by purchasing your own candles and/or containers for floral arrangements, instead of having the florist or event designer provide them. DIY is always more sensible and will save you money.

TRUTH: I love DIY in many cases...but sometimes you must really considers the pros and cons, not just think about the cash savings. Beyond cost, consider the following: where are you going to store these containers (until the day before the wedding), what are you going to do with them after (do you need 20 candelabras?), how are you going to transport them (will 20 candelabras fit in your 4 door sedan...not likely!), are you sure the florist can use them (will they be the right size, etc.), do you want to be responsible for them on the wedding night...chances are the florist will not transport them back to his studio and store them until after the honeymoon...they are yours!

In actuality, these are not the items that the florist is making their big money on. What you end up with instead is a string of problems ranging from containers that cannot stand up to the complexities of the floral arrangements you desire, mismatched containers, and storage/transportation issues.

In terms of candles, you need to be sure to buy tempered votive holders and hurricanes, as well as ones that meet current fire code for the city in which your venue is located. Again...who is going to haul them to and from the sites...think about it!

Also, scented candles can irritate the senses and distract from the meal service - just imagine the lovely scent of Gardenia and Filet Mignon. Or worse yet, you buy candles at the dollar store, and they burnout 2 hours into the evening. Many brides also like to purchase their own twinkle lights, and miscalculate the number they need, forget adapters and extension cords, and worse yet, for the battery-operated strands, forget the batteries (by the way battery operated ones don't really last all that long!).

HIP TIP: Smart and Final has the best votives candles...an 8 hour burn and no scent!

Happy Planning!

Holly

The Cutest Flower Girls EVER!

Everyone is talking about personalizing your wedding (more of my thoughts on that to come!). So, why not let the littlest stars of the day shine - yes, you know it is true...the guests love the flower girl, whether she drops any petals, rings any bells, or even makes it down the aisle. Step out of the bridal box - flower girls do not have to wear fluffy white gowns! Add to the style of your wedding by selecting a truly unique flower dress dress that reflects your wedding style?

Take a peek at Zookini Kids. A line of classic, timeless, age appropriate, and quite simply, some of the cutest dresses EVER!

Can't you just imagine Glorious Grace at your garden party?

Or Christine's Hawaiian Halter at your beach luau?

Or Sweetheart Anna at your "rustic" country picnic?

Or Parisian Rose at your tea party?

Or Asian Rose at your Fall Soiree?

These dresses are beautifully made in the USA (YIPPEEE!) with all natural fibers - I know how good the quality is...my daughter has a few of the dresses. Check out her photo shoot in the Sweetheart Anna at 504 Main.

When it is time to shop for the flower girl dresses, check out these styles and all the others at Zookini Kids.

Happy Planning!
Holly